Every one of us who trains dogs eventually meets a challenge that makes us question what we believe…
A dog who “doesn’t respond.”
A behavior that won’t change.
A problem that feels unsolvable.
A distraction that seems overwhelming.
It’s tempting, in those moments, to conclude that kindness or reinforcement based training just “doesn’t work.”
But what if… it’s not that reinforcement has failed us, but rather our understanding of the applications of it is still evolving?
It’s easy to conclude if our current understanding of the “reinforcement effect” doesn’t solve our problem then perhaps we should be looking towards more aversive, punishing methods.
But what if the dog who challenges us is simply holding up a mirror.
They’re not showing us failure; they’re showing us where we can grow, where our curiosity, our creativity, our timing and conclusions might be lacking or flawed.
𝐉𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐝𝐨𝐧’𝐭 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐰𝐞𝐫, 𝐝𝐨𝐞𝐬𝐧’𝐭 𝐦𝐞𝐚𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐰𝐞𝐫 𝐝𝐨𝐞𝐬𝐧’𝐭 𝐞𝐱𝐢𝐬𝐭.
Science has yet to map out the full potential of reinforcement.
But every day, countless trainers in both sport and pet dog training are proving what’s possible when we stay curious, compassionate, and committed to learning.
So before you decide that kindness doesn’t work, ask:
What if I just haven’t discovered how it works yet, for this dog, in this environment with these competing reinforcers?
𝐎𝐮𝐫 𝐝𝐨𝐠𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐧’𝐭 𝐭𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐮𝐬. 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐲’𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐮𝐬. 𝐀𝐧𝐝 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐰𝐞 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐧—𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐥𝐲 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐧—𝐰𝐞 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐛𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐨𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫.
Our dogs get to live their best lives possible and we get to evolve into the highest form of ourselves. The form where we don’t look to judge or blame we look to grow. We look for new mentors.
I believe this is possible for all of us.
Maybe all of the solutions are not currently obvious, and maybe they will all not reveal themselves, even in my lifetime.
However I do know dogs are worth continuing to search for those answers. And while we continue to search, we are growing, not just in our knowledge of dog training, but as compassionate humans.
I’ve included photos of the three dogs who have inspired me to grow the most over my lifetime. Of course, every dog I’ve ever owned, I’ve learned an unmeasurable amount from.
However, there were three who were the biggest challenge for me. The ones who frustrated me the most not because of who they were, but because of who I was at the time when they came into my life.
In 1996 it was my red Border Collie Buzz, who was the first dog I was committed to train without the use of physical corrections or verbal intimidation, and there could not have been a better dog for the job.
In 2000 it was my Sport-Mix DeCaff who was filled with reactivity, fear, and a serious lack of confidence.
And it’s very possible that in 2020 DeCaff came back to me in the body of my now 5 year old BC This! to help enhance my education in working with dogs needing more confidence in life.
When you consider your dog’s behavior not as a troubling or vindictive response to your training but rather a gift intended to help you …your life and who you are as a person will be transformed.
I’d love to read about the dog who has taught (or is currently teaching) you the most.
Gratitude
Today I’m filled with appreciation for every dog who’s challenged me to look beyond the obvious and stay open to learning. The dogs who made me question, reflect, and grow have given me the greatest gifts of all.
They remind me that the best lessons in dog training are never just about dogs. They’re about becoming someone who chooses patience over pressure, understanding over assumption, and connection over control.
Curious to Learn More?
If this blog spoke to your heart and you’d like to grow your training with joy, connection, and kindness, you’ll find a great place to begin inside Home School the Dog.
I’ve never had a dog like my dog Chuy. He is a terrier/shitzu mix. Came off the streets with a big biting problem. I was going to foster him but the bond was very quickly made. Chuy becomes reactive around other dogs and people. I have had him 4 1/2 years and have tried many different methods of training and hired many dog trainers. The trainers soon get tired of dogs that have some behavior issues. He is so smart and really wants to learn. He is only limited by what I know and can teach him. He is so sweet and loving at home with me but when he gets out he goes crazy. He doesn’t do it with other people while at the sitter or vet etc, only with me. I know he is trying to protect me. Sometimes it feels like he is trying to take on my issues. I’m working on both our confidence! I am in recallers and watching your videos. I have been playing games with him and doing training as much as I can. I am trying to be the leader and sometimes it works and some times it doesn’t. I have had many dogs over my life but he seems to be the hardest case. I have had people tell me he is just mean and will never get better. They say I have helped him so much but it’s time to let someone else take over. It makes my heart hurt when they say that. I just can’t and won’t abandon him. I know he is not broken and can be helped. He is my dog for sure… Thank you for all the information you put out for us. I appreciate it.
Right now to me the greatest challenge is in learning from the change that happened to my adolescent dog.
She has improved greatly in many ways over the course of just weeks and I am frustrated that I do not know for sure what caused this. Was it the second heat that finally helped her mature? Was it transitioning to BARF? Is it that having an enjoyable food for free daily in the bowl relieved some of her frustration with food as a reward? Is it that the progress she made during socialization walks affected every other area of her life? Was nosework such a big discovery to her that she has only now found the joy in sniffing? Is it because seasons changed and there’s fewer dogs and people outdoors?
I’m almost sure that it wasn’t thanks to my training sessions because they were far from ideal and we have eventually put a hold on them. I tended to make those sessions too long and I could see that being rewarded with treats then didn’t feel special to her.
Not knowing how she changed into a dog who just enjoys sitting on a couch, stops and thinks, pays attention to cues during walks, makes me worried that some day I will do something or something happens to her that reverts that whole change and I won’t even know how it happened. I am extremely happy to discover new ways in which she shows me her improved well-being but still anxious that the change won’t persist.
I truly believe in your methods. I am in Wag Nation currently. My 3 year old heeler has been a challenge for me because he is so darn smart! I have been using the methods in Wag Nation for almost a year and I find my dog responds very happily. When he doesn’t respond in the way I hope, I find myself rethinking about what I need to change to help him understand. Years ago, I like many others did obedience training with one of my past dogs. Although the methods worked, something never felt right about it for me. I love dogs and want them to live their best life.
The problem for me is not that my dog has a challenging behavior, it’s that after 5 years of trying to figure it out and searching/ asking for answers/ help I still don’t have an answer. The problem is vocalizing. In obedience he gives a quick whine with every change of position, eg start of heeling. At times he has outright barked at me . He has cost me points and placements. In agility he outright barks at me , it can be right from entering the ring or not. The problem is that the more he barks, the more OVER aroused he gets.
At home it could be someone walking past the house, the sound of a delivery truck stopping even though the delivery is not for us, the sound of someone closing a car door.
So having a challenging problem and then not figuring out a solution after years of trying that’s frustrating and discouraging.
My 2 year old Golden Aussie, Augustus, is definitely teaching me patience. I’m in my 2nd round of Recallers and we are working on the same “problem” behaviors. He does great when there are no distractions but we walk out the door and he becomes a different dog. I know there is a solution – the post was an encouragement to keep trying. Thanks for all the great work you do and share!
Thank you for today’s blog. It came at the perfect time for Max and I. The last weeks have been challenging with his training. Treats are no longer a great reward for Max. So I am currently researching what will motivate Max. I must admit that I was feeling discouraged. Again Thank you
Often the ones who are the most challenging are those who are adopted as adults, when you cannot know anything about their previous home/training life. I have had some who have had no training and soak it up quickly, like a sponge. They are delighted to learn that they can control the rewards they receive. Then there are those who seem suspicious of your every move and resist training. It is as if they really doubt that cookies could ever be given freely, without being used as a bribe–and they know they don’t want to do anything you might be trying to bribe them to do! There is a third group of cunning dogs who seem to understand both the positive reinforcement system and the hazards of being forced to do things and punished for not doing them. They are wary, but not resistant, and sometimes act as though they have two different personalities at once!