Shelby on the seesaw, check out the dinosaur Cross Over obstacle in the foreground.
Today I had a thought… How could my life have been different “If I knew then what I know now?” Think about that for yourself, what would be different? What would that extra knowledge mean to you? It would be easy for me to say “sure, if I knew about 2×2 weaves training, successful running contacts and working in a handling “system” when I entered my first agility trial with Shelby & Stoni, wow . . . things would have been different!”
Wow…what?
Wow, we would have won tons of events? Well, we did win more than our fair share back then. Wow, we would have had loads of fun? Well, we did have loads of fun. Wow, we would have qualified more often . . . okay… got me there as my dogs and I did lack consistency back in the early ’90s.
But funny enough, if I could do it all again it isn’t the knowledge of training or handling I would want to change. I earned all of that knowledge by working hard and met some amazing people along my journey. I wouldn’t want to change those experiences or those wonderful mentors. But there certainly is something I would change if I could do it all over again. A brief walk through my history in dog training will shed some light on what I mean.
The Age Of Innocence:
I trained my first dog as a child with noexpectations. She was a toy Poodle that my older sister Vicki owned. Vicki taught Tina a couple of tricks and at the age of 8 I was inspired to try it myself. I still remember trying to “train” Tina back then, there was absolutely no expectations on my part. Anything I got was a bonus and somewhat of a shock! I had no knowledge, no books, no mentors — heck I didn’t even know anyone else that owned a dog. I still remember the feeling of absolute awe I felt when I got Tina to roll over for the first time.
My takeaway from this era; dogs are amazing and will try to do everything you want if you have cheese!
A Little Bit of Knowledge is A Dangerous Thing
Awesome handling eh? God bless our first agility dogs for what they happily went through!
As the old saying goes . . . a little bit of knowledge is a dangerous thing! As I got more and more experience “training” dogs my mindset changed. As a teenager, I was totally in love with the Chow Chow breed. Even though I didn’t own a Chow, I had the handbook; “How to Raise and Train Your Chow Chow.” For many years it was my sole training resource. That was where I learned you should use a choke chain and leash to make your dog to do what you wanted. Once again my sister’s dogs where my guinea pigs. By this time Vicki was showing various sighthounds in the conformation ring. Those poor dogs absolutely did not look forward to their “training” with me.
Suddenly I had expectations, my outlook towards the dogs had changed as I judged them and held them accountable for what they did and how they did it. The dogs showed obvious signs of stress and submission when they worked with me, but of course I didn’t have the knowledge to recognize those signs. Looking back there was far less joy and far more emotion in that training as I learned to “expect” these dogs to do as I told them!
My take away from that era: dogs are the most amazing creatures on earth, they tolerate all our bull$*!t and always act like they are the luckiest dog alive to be living with us.
Mixing Cocktails Rarely Turns Out Pretty
Over the next years, I took “formal” classes and seminars that taught me that, yes force is fine if the dog “deserves it”, but first we use cookie lures to “teach” what we want. Again I judged the dog inferior, rarely measuring up to my high expectations, me often thrilled but sometimes “disappointed” in my dog’s behaviour. I showed them with cookies so they now “knew” what I wanted when the dog failed to perform she was at fault. I did see more joy in the dog, however, the signs of stress/fear were still lingering. I had loads of “success” now in the obedience, flyball and agility ring. I was winning a lot but there was a lot of stress for my dogs as I continued to judge them. I had expectations they had to live up to. I could still be disappointed by their behaviour when they “let me down” not doing as I asked. And again, I dismissed any “feedback” those dogs gave me with their errors.
My biggest take away from this era would be with just like mixing cocktails just doesn’t work – neither does mixing dog training methods. The dog never knew who was coming out to train with them; the happy, cookie wielding Susan or the judgmental, punishing Susan that expected perfection and blamed the dog when she didn’t get it.
Value, Choice and Balance To Create the Dog of Your Dreams
By now most of you know where I sit where dog training is concerned. I observe where the value currently is for my dogs, I know where I would like the value to be and work towards that goal. Along the way I always give the dog a choice to show me what they know, controlling their environment rather than their choices. And finally, I am constantly evaluating if the dog has balance in his; life, responses and drives. There is no judgement and no blame. Errors my dogs make are feedback to my training and handling. I laugh more and build responses in my dogs around the joy I can put into their lives as I work towards making them the best I can. I am confident all will end well and if I ever come up against roadblocks the search for more knowledge will lead me to answers.
If I Knew Then What I Know Now . . .
My youngest dog Swagger the great benefactor of all of my earlier lessons.
The biggest lesson I have learned through all of this is that dogs are more amazing that any of us really can grasp. They happily play the role we need them to play during the time of our life we need to learn OUR lessons to take us forward. Many years ago I stopped judging my dogs and stopped being disappointed in them. Yes I still have high expectations, yes I still get frustrated when things don’t come as easily as I would like, but I no longer judge the dog or get disappointed in the dog’s behaviour. I get frustrated by my inabilities to communicate or my lack of knowledge of what to do next but not in the dog. I know for certain that our dogs really are a reflection of our dog training knowledge. When you have an understanding of how to best use reinforcement in your relationship with your dog, the need for punishment will be gone or at least drastically reduced.
Knowing that keeps me humble and makes me realize if something isn’t working it isn’t through any fault in the dog. I am responsible for what my dog knows, how he performs and the decisions he makes. Training is just posing a series of questions to your dog. The more correct answers he gets, the more knowledge you are transferring to him. The moment you find your dog in a pattern of consistent failure that is your signal that YOU let your dog down. You need to come up with better questions because the ones you are asking are not giving him the clarity he needs to be correct and conversely you are adding unnecessary confusion.
Not only do I enjoy dog training more today but I believe my lack of “judging” has spilled over to my life and dealings with people. People used to disappoint, frustrate and anger me. Today I realize that each of us is on our own journey. How my fellow competitor chooses to conduct himself towards me, towards his dog or towards other people is part of his life lessons not part of mine. I cannot control the way others chose to treat me or their dog but I can control how I react to those experiences. My experiences with dogs have taught me that and allowed me to be a better teacher in the process. You cannot be the best teacher for someone if you are judging them, that is so true.
My current day dogs, DeCaff, Buzz, Encore, Feature & Swagger.
What I Really Would Do Differently
So sure, knowing more back them would have been less frustrating, but I don’t think it is “knowing more” that was missing along my journey, I think it was the innocent amazement of dogs that I lost (and had to re-discover) along the way. That is what I would have as a “do over” today if I could go back and do it all again. To know the dog really is just a product of what we know and when we get annoyed at the dog, we are blaming him for our lack of ability to communicate what we want. To be receptive to the lessons the dog is sharing by their inability to do what we want and to make sure “every day is game day” when I train my dog.
We all have a “first dog” that likely had to endure some unfair blame as we grew up as dog trainers, but as Maria Robinson once said
“No one can go back and start a new beginning but each of us can start today and make a new ending.”
Today I am grateful for Tina the Poodle, little did I know she would be giving me my first lessons on what would turn out to be my life’s journey, plus she went tricker treating as George Washington’s dog . . . what more could a kid ask for?
Halloween late 60s, me as George Washington and Tina the Poodle go out trick or treating.
So very relevant to my history in not understanding that it was my fault that dogs didn’t understand what I wanted of them. I hope I never ever make that mistake again, but I still have to keep checking myself.
We’re all sitting here reading your blogs because you managed to get back to the knowing you had as an eight year old girl working with your sister’s dog Tina. I for one and supremely grateful.
They tend to say ‘sometimes the journey is more important (or interesting) than the destination itself’. You would not be there without those lessons life has offered you.
I grew up with two dogs. My mom did agility with them so I wanted too but I was never allowed. I started training tricks to the other dog on my own and both of us suffered so much of my teenage temperament and misguided attitudes about dog training. Dog more than me.
This led to my first lesson. I had to analyze my own behavior and decide how to change it. I read books. I observed. I decided to treat myself as if I were a problematic dog. I got results, relapsed, and tried again. I saw the ugly side of myself and learned one of the most important lessons in my entire life.
Then I got a dog on my own. A dog truly mine. She taught me that every failure I had with her was because of force and every success I had with her was because I had reinforced, rewarded, and supported her.
I think my second dog is trying to teach me that I should stick to the first two lessons and remember and partially re-learn the first one. Another little trick she might give me for the next pup is how to prepare, something I had not thought of thoroughly when I got this dog.
An agility trainer complained that I was blaming my dog when something went wrong. I stared at them confused and then said: “Didn’t you listen when you met me for the first time? I said, my dog is awesome, she is smart, fast, and motivated, but I am a bumbling fool. Whatever goes wrong is my fault, either I didn’t communicate to her what I want her to do in time or I have not trained this thing properly in the first place. Yes, I was ranting but it was never directed towards the dog but myself.”
What a great story to read before beginning your online course. Training has been a journey and I am blown away by how there are so many theories on how to train a dog. I joke it seems more complicated than raising children! I look forward to learning more as I like your philosophy. Thank you for sharing!
Beautiful post! So true in so many ways!
Love this post, Susan. Thank you!
It is totally awesome for me to have the ability to know more about you and what you have experienced in the dog training world. You have made me laugh, and cry. You have brought emotions out in me for my own wonderful canine companions. Thank you so much for sharing your experiences with us and showing us that, you too, make errors, like we do. I hope that in the future of training my dogs, I can be as honest with myself as you are with yourself. It is never their fault when a mistake is made, it is us that make the mistakes. Thank you so much.
Totally agree, she is a God sent ❤❤
It is appropriate time to make a few plans for the longer term and it is time to be happy. I have learn this put up and if I could I want to counsel you few interesting things or advice. Perhaps you could write subsequent articles referring to this article. I wish to read more issues about it!
Almost daily I have the same revelation. As a dogless child, my mother would not let me have one because “Dogs bother neighbors” I borrowed neighbor dogs and taught them tricks with Cheerios. It was always fun. Then college with biology, psychology and sociology. Then my own dog and we hired a professional trainer, back in the early 80’s. Choke chains. Yeah. Not so much fun for either of us. I blamed her and myself. She tried so hard to tell me what was wrong. Have been having much more fun since around 1989 when I started using clicker, and training has become more fun every year since. APDT conferences and many seminars and workshops later, WOW! Now I know how little I know. But I keep trying to learn. And I think the dogs are having way more fun, while offering great precision, enthusiasm and reliability of responses to cues. And Susan, your on line courses are extremely well done. I keep getting tidbits. Thanks!
Thank you… It’s been months since I didn’t have fun training my dogs, this post showed me why…
“To know the dog really is just a product of what we know and when we get annoyed at the dog we are blaming him for our lack of ability to communicate what we want.”
^My favorite part! It especially speaks to me right now as I try to figure out how to explain competition heel position to my dog (8y/o Papillon) in a way he can understand. I get frustrated…with myself for not having the experience/knowledge of different methods to teach heel without force.
If anyone knows of a good obedience trainer in the Raleigh, NC area, let me know please!
…… IT is printed out and hanging on the wall as a constant reminder that communicating with our dogs in a happy understanding way will give us the wonderful experience of having a loving friend who will always be there for us — in bad and in good times. Thank you so much, Susan, for your wonderful insight life changing article. Just yesterday I encountered a BIG problem and set back with one of my dogs and was frustrated, devastated and ….. blamed the dog a little bit. Not fair! I could not sleep all night and finally realized what I!!!! had done wrong. I apologized to my doggie this morning. We will start over this afternoon on a happy-go-lucky-paw 🙂 THANKS, Susan 🙂
Did anyone else tear up thinking about their first dog while reading this article? I cringe thinking back to my first pinch collar, trying to teach retrieving with an ear pinch, and the angry disappointment I’d feel heeling the pattern at a show while my dog slinked along 5 feet behind me. I agree with Susan, it was all necessary to learn and appreciate what we know today, but for the life of me I can’t figure how I motivated myself to continue training when it was obviously not fun. But I’m glad I did continue because now I know how much fun and not disappointing dogs can be!
Hello Pam and BNR, I can understand a lot. I was used to have my two first dogs everywhere and also with dogs who were not easy with others. Then my first new dog was wonderful and easy too. Then my next one seemed wonderful too, I used in socialisation what I knew and I drove many kilometers to find a nice puppy course until I gave up and invited my friends and made trainings. Then two of my friends dogs who had never shown problems went after him and he reacted and I got a reactive dog. I looked for training asked many friends started RCs and drove into an other country,invited trainers and organised seminars,… I thought why me and why exactly now when all is a mess anyway. (house construction, job changing,…) Then I had a young woman in the SAR group I was training at that time with a very big dog she could not handle and reactivity. She came from the believing in punishment and so many of the group did and they also emediatly labbeled my dog. I went my way with my dog and it is still a lot more to go. But this path dis take others with me while he did great lessons together with the other dog what worked and what did not work. Since last year he has improved so much. I could not help the other handler as much as I wanted but we did make some imprinting and we did with others in their thinking punishment, alpha versus joy and desire. We never know why what comes for what reason. As on me I have learned so much to believe in my dogs and walk my path dispite what others in my environment think.
This post hit me where it hurts… because I am totally aware of the fact that it’s my fault that my boxer doesn’t act the way I want him to. And while this does apply to his agility, obedience and tricks training – which he does do, but not with any… oomph: he’s missing the D! – it also applies to his reactivity to other dogs.
I don’t know why he became this way but I have a few ideas (puppyhood sickness kept him away from dogs most of the time). For a while he loved other dogs, but then it’s like a switch flipped.
I’m having an amazingly hard time working on this, and find myself getting frustrated and angry, first with him, and then with myself when I remember that he doesn’t know what I want. I suck at communicating that and while I have made significant improvements, I feel like within him lifetime we will never be able to pass a dog on the street without issue, let alone compete in agility or obedience. I’ll keep working at it, but as one commenter said above, I’m “crushed. Flat, like a bug.”
Pam….I understand your frustration with your dog’s reacticity. I, too, am going thru the same thing with my 13 month old. He was such a pleasant pup and a breath of fresh air after dealing with 2 other reactive dogs in the house, and boom, the switch flipped. It is hard to not get mad when he ‘flips out’. He is clearly telling me I have more work to do!
Sniff, sniff. Got me right in the heart, this blog. And then in my mind. And then into my third dog who I have successfully screwed up. Thank you, Susan, for the inspiration and the honesty….
Wonderful article, I am working with my first agility dog and after 3 years I am just beginning to understand how to work and communicate with her. Thanks for sharing your experiences.
Love this article, thank you for sharing your journey
truly inspiring
excellent entry and LOVE the pictures 😉
LOVE “The dog never knew who was coming out to train with them; the happy, cookie wielding Susan or the judgmental, punishing Susan that expected perfection and blamed the dog when she didn’t get it.”
Far too many dogs still don’t know who is going to be interacting with them on any given day.
I love this blog Susan. Learning is truly a life long joy.
I say on a daily basis, ” I sure wish I knew with all of our other dogs what I know now.” I try to psuh the guilt out of my head because I know I gave them good homes and loved them but our relationship could have have been awesome. So glad to be a part of the better way of doing it, and part of trying to educate others there is a better way of teaching our best friends. I know I’d helped change the mind of a few and I’m thrilled. Sad for the couple not willing to try it and I have to see them on walks yanking their dogs. I know they love their dogs but could be so much better without the fear.
Thanks SG for putting the Icing on the cake for us.
Great blog post Susan!
Back in the 70’s, it was a black poodle that introduced me to training and changed me life. I wish I had a photo of her …. her name was Shannah and she stole my heart.
Your blog brings back so many wonderful memories and as with many of us that train with you, we all can relate on some level to what you are saying.
Looking at Tina snapped me back suddenly to those days long ago. This sure did tug on my heart and brought some tears in my eyes!
As if I didn’t already introduce you as my favorite trainer- you give me even more reason. Thanks for sharing your story; it is nice to know a bit more of your background.
But more importantly- thanks for linking back to the Agility Action Blog thing. There must be thirty new blogs on there for me to check out that I didn’t even know existed!
I love your line that “You can not be the best teacher for someone if you are judging them, that is so true.” I’m getting much better about not judging my dogs, but now I really want to keep that line at the front of my mind so that I give people the same benefit of the doubt too! The joy in teaching my current fuzzy wizkid (who is always trying to figure out what else she can do for cheese in entertaining ways) always brightens my day. Thanks for the great post and words of wisdom!
Excellent thoughtss!!
Well, this was certainly worth the wait since your last blog post.
Of all the posts you have written, the one I had the hardest time truly understanding was “Criteria = Joy” (http://dogagilityblog.wpengine.com/2011/04/criteria-is/). Right about then Recallers 2.0 kicked in, then Puppy Peaks, then R3.0. By far the most significant thing I learned by participating in these courses during 2011 was the full meaning of “Criteria = Joy”.
Until very recently, I was still mixing cocktails. All the ingredients were “positive” and all were from trainers I think most of us respect, but the mix lacked a coherent organizing principle. Settling on “Criteria = Joy” as my organizing principle has not only made me and my dogs happier people, but it has helped me evaluate which training ideas fit within that framework and which do not. For this, I am very grateful to you.
Susan, forever grateful that you share your knowledge so much with us all…..very glad you had the journey you did. I think yesterday I went to bed one of the happiest people on earth……yep I did go eventually. I know how great this contact course is going to be and how much it will enable everyone who takes it not only get brilliant contacts but to grow as people. Thankyou for everything you do.
Oh, Susan…how you take me back to 1964…my very first BC “Lassie”; I know I’ve told this before but memories flow with reading your post of the ‘old’ way to training with chokes and negative punishment. My BC really loved me and did everything she could to please me and I thought I was the greatest 10 yr old dog trainer ever! I used that method with all the dogs I owned until 19 months ago when I got “Snap” and found you. I wished I could go back to that 10 yr old and her first dog and re-do, but that saying you stated is true, we can’t go back, but can start now and have a new ending. Brings tears to my eyes knowing I’ve been given a new beginning to a positive ending in finding true Joy in dog training!
Your last sentence is wonderful, Debra!! Love it.
WOW! What an inspiring article! I too plan to re-read periodically. Thank you for sharing.
Wow! Great post, especially the part about patience with people, it’s just not fair to “judge” others; maybe sometime soon I’ll get this thru my thick skull! Have all the patience in the world with horses & dogs but very little with people!
Lovely, lovely post. I will read it may more. times. I especially like the comment that it spills into our people relationships. Or it should, anyway. We often forget to be positive with our friends and associates. Thanks for the reminder.
I still have my homework sheets from my first obedience class from 1975 with my Blue Heeler (Australian Cattle Dog). In the early ’90s, I came across the book, “Don’t Shoot the Dog” and more than anything used it as my child rearing manual-my kids were toddlers. My children, now successful young adults, really benefitted from “good dog training”!! Both of them got copies of this book for Christmas! Lucky kids:)
I currently have 7 dogs, I show and compete in agility and dabble in dog training! I can teach the dogs anything-(we only use shaping), when I get around to it, when I set my criteria and am consistent!! I think I have learned more from Susan and her insights than anything over the last many years. Short sessions, criteria and consistency-my short comings!!
Thanks Susan, while it is a journey and at times while my dogs are joyful, they still run amuck about the house we ,will pull it all together one cheese stick at a time!!
Loved it. Thank you.
What a great post. i love it. another one to save and reread often. When i think of a do over i wish i had more understanding and patience. love it.
Thank you Susan for an inspiring post!
Imagine that – a Canadian child dressing up for Halloween as George Washington!
Love, love, love this post, but looking at those bare legs outside in the winter makes me shiver. Brings back memories of going to school and haveing to wear dresses in 20 below weather.
My take away from that era: dogs are the most amazing creatures on earth, they tolerate all our bull$*!t and always act like they are the luckiest dog alive to be living with us.
LOVE THIS. Yes, at 65 yrs, I was there in the 50s, working with our mixed bred Wire haired terrier. For 5 cents, I could get kids to come and watch Tray, zip around our backyard, jumping over the set up jumps(red wagon sides) and rock from my Mom’s rock garden. All this Tray did for a piece of cheese. What a great dog.
I have followed your training exploits for years and consider you the “John Lyons”/”Clinton Anderson” of dog training. A person who has never been afraid to admit they aren’t perfect, a person that wants to share their knowledge with as many people as possible so that we can learn from your years of concentrated effort. I love that you are excited about break throughs in training and can’t wait to tell us of both your successes and failures in hopes that our dogs can all benefit.
I’ll never compete at the level you do but my dogs have had the benefit of your insites and we both enjoy the “joy” you bring to the training table. Good behavior and lots of fun backyard training!
Thanks for all you do!
Heartwarming story to wake up to this morning. It is indeed a journey and I try and be grateful for it everyday. Thank you for sharing this, attitude indeed makes all the difference to how we treat each other and our beloved companions.
“I get frustrated by my inabilities to communicate or my lack of knowledge of what to do next but not in the dog. I know for certain that our dogs really are a reflection of our dog training knowledge.”
Thank you Susan. As many have said before, what you write seems to always come at just the right time. About a month ago I was at what I felt was a high point in our training. Things seemed to be going so well I couldn’t imagine how we could ever go down from here.
But I have recently hit a low. So low, that I got mad at my poor dog last night. And then immediately mad at myself, because I know it’s all my fault, every bit of it.
Where I thought I had put tons and tons of value, my dog is suddenly telling me there isn’t half as much value there as I thought, and I am crushed. Flat, like a bug. 🙂
Hey Laura,
I totally know that “crushed” feeling. In fact, I think it’s to some degree a hallmark of the Say Yes approach, since we have all learned that it is NOT helpful to blame the dog. For me, the next step is to learn to react to these situations with curiosity rather than frustration.
“Huh, why did that happen?” Sometimes I sit down with my dog and just think out loud. “Why isn’t this of value to you, when I was so sure it was?” I will try little experiments, the more outrageous the better, to see if I can get some more feedback from the dog that will prompt a new perspective. Sometimes I will talk it over with non-dog training friends. This takes courage, as I am supposed to be the experienced dog trainer and here I am asking their opinion, but sometimes they have “naive” insights that I was blind to because I was so sure I knew what was motivating my dog.
Learn as much as you can from the feedback the dog is giving, formulate a plan of action, and move forward when ready. It’s not really different from the rest of life’s challenges, but somehow we have all been brainwashed into thinking that when it comes to dog training, setbacks should never occur. How crazy is that?
I’m happy to say I’m working on climbing back out of this hole. Had a really encouraging training session last night. Then I woke up this morning with that song that says “I get knocked down, then I get up again” going through my head – how appropriate! The other song that gets me up and going is Hedley’s Invincible. I’m grateful to my dog for telling me I wasn’t doing the best job, and I know these low points are great teaching moments for us. When we reach a low, we can either give up, or we can come out of it even stronger than before. I’m determined to do the latter. 🙂
Such an amazing insite. Thank you for all your wisdom.
What I wish I would have done: Started working with dogs before my 40’s. Wow, what I would know now!
Me, too, Jolynn, except… what an exciting time this is to be learning how to train. I probably would not have stayed with it ten years ago because my heart would not have been in it, using physical “consequences” and “alpha” crap. I love ‘working with’, not ‘doing to’, my dog, and I can’t escape the feeling that I came into this at just the right time for me. Susan and the Inner Circle community from Recallers feed my dog-training soul.
Excellent entry Susan, thanks!