Comments on: Pay Truth Forward

By: Claire Duder

Claire Duder — Thu, 25 Mar 2010 22:11:56 +0000

I don’t think that there is ever a good reason to lie for gain, cheat for gain, or steal for gain. However, I think that there are too many people who delight in being “brutally honest”… emphasis on the brutal!

I think kindness and civility are grossly undervalued traits, that would go a long way towards fixing the sort of rpoblems Gary talks about. Sometimes it can be hard to be kind if you insist on being truthful. So, I think there must always be a balance: “truth” is often a matter of opinion (“Do these jeans make me look fat?”), afterall.

By: Trudie

Trudie — Wed, 24 Mar 2010 18:38:07 +0000

You have asked your husband to do you a favour. And he has agreed, confident that the consideration is reciprocal.
It would be about deception if the emotions were sham or selfish…
I confess: your blog prompted me to dust off an old copy of “How the Mind Works”…
…and discovered another fascinating aspect of cheating: self-deception, “the conscious mind sometimes hides the truth from itself the better to hide it from others…”

Whether all Steven Pinker’s statements are correct or not, I did find a couple of gems he quoted:

“There’s one way to find out if a man is honest: ask him; if he says yes, you know he’s crooked.” – Mark Twain

“Our enemies’ opinion of us comes closer to the truth than our own.”
- Larochefoucaud

“It is not enough to succeed. Others must fail.” – Gore Vidal

By: Christine

Christine — Wed, 24 Mar 2010 17:04:56 +0000

Great insight – I’m going to share this thread with a non-doggy friend that I think would also take from this…and no that’s not a lie!

Buzz’s head tilt is kinda cute.

He is one special boy that has influenced many through the stories you shared in Shaping Success.

By: Michelle

Michelle — Wed, 24 Mar 2010 16:51:00 +0000

Buzzy looks so cute. My father calls the being nice or subtle untruths “white-lies”. Those ones are okay so he says.

I think there is a difference between lying and being discreet. Somethings are better left unsaid, like someone above quote, if you havent anything nice to say!!

I travel a bit also and my hubby gets dog duty. It was hard when my previous dogs were getting old and a lot to care for. However, I never did tell him to not tell me what was going on. I guess because I left him with the burden (not really a burden) but an emotional one of taking care of the dogs when they are not 100%, that I didnt feel that he couldnt talk to me about it when I called him. For me that was my support to him to offload some of the emotional burden I had left him with. Sometimes calls were hard but I had to face what was going on and be a support to my hubby too. I guess if I ever had to take off and come home I would have. I know that our dogs are definitely in good hands with our hubbies though.

I hope Buzzy continues to improve.

By: Lynn

Lynn — Wed, 24 Mar 2010 16:37:23 +0000

I think tremendous harm is being done to our society by talk show hosts who not only lie, but bump up their ratings by setting aside all rules of civility. Then not only are the lies repeated ad nauseum by people who never bother to check the facts, but the tone of public discourse shifts to one of screaming and name calling (like the tea-baggers who shouted the “n word” at congressman and civil rights hero John Lewis), rather than constructive debate over actual issues. While we’re promoting truth-telling, I wish that people would make a commitment to civil conversation as well — in person, online, in print, on the radio, etc. I’m not sure whether there are situations that justify lying, but I’m pretty sure that there is no time when it’s helpful to treat another person (or group of people) without respect.

By: Mary Muliett

Mary Muliett — Wed, 24 Mar 2010 16:26:31 +0000

Okay, so really if I did not omit anything….wow that could cause some issue.
I am all about being truthful and would like to think I am a very honest person….but remember the old adage “if you can’t say something nice….” really sometimes it is important to just keep quite. We all are colored with our own perspectives and we need to think about what is “our stuff/judgment” versus what is “truth”….most off the cuff thoughts are judgment based and come from our own baggage.

Just saying, and again I am a pretty straight from the hip kind of girl, but I know not everything needs said.

By: Helen Verte

Helen Verte — Wed, 24 Mar 2010 14:57:08 +0000

I think we are hard-wired to lie as a self-preservation instinct. When you posed that question about lying, the first thing I thought about was corporate America. That is an institution where survival requires lying at one point or another. Then I did a quick search on-line and found we, as children, start lying as a self-preservation method at seven years old. Then it seems to snowball into lying for other reasons, for some This link goes to an excerpt of Hardwired behavior: what neuroscience reveals about morality by Laurence R. Tancredi on amazon. http://itybityurl.com/1963 A very interesting page.

Buzzy is an adorable senior citizen. I love the seniors. They are so special.