The Holy Grail Has Arrived Safely in Alberton
You may think with the title of this blog I just stumbled upon the answer to the perfectly reliable running contact, or perhaps a new line of agility
clothing that contours your butt to look three sizes smaller than real-life, or maybe I just came up with a way to stop babies from crying on airplanes. No, thats not it at all really.
For the last five months I have longed for it, dropped hints about it and made unsuccessful ownership attempts of my own; both on the internet and over-the-phone. Still I was left disappointed and once again empty handed.
Back in July, on my birthday, John tried to satiate my needs with an substandard stand-in. A mere copycat posing as the real thing and we both knew it. It was nothing more than a ruse, a bad joke. I discarded the imposture within hours of making its acquaintance. I could appreciate John’s efforts in trying to make me happy on my birthday, but sadly it only served to fan the flames of yearning as my desire for authenticity became all that more intense.
But Monday was the day. Perhaps Saturday’s rainbows were just trumpeted foreshadowing leading to yesterday’s historical event. Yes, my quest came to a end at 10:03 yesterday morning. Armed with critical retail reconnaissance from the ever thoughtful Clare Duder, I arrived at the mall five minutes before it was open for business. Like a junkie
jonesing for a fix, I stood impatiently dancing at the door as the clerk unlocked the security games. Then I entered, immediately locating and purchasing my very own . . . (cue the celestial music and the cherubs flying overhead). . . as-seen-on-TV, Slap Chop. You read correctly, I own a Slap Chop and can barely contain my excitement.
While fighting back the tears of intense joy, I sprinted from the store with my treasured purchase in hand. Admittedly, I may have committed more than one moving traffic violation as I sped my way back to Alberton to start my slapping with visions of Vince making that perfect salsa one slap at a time.
For those that are completely in the dark, take a peak at Vince in his informercial. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rUbWjIKxrrs
Vince is a treat, he really is, but if you really want to jam you just have to watch the Slap Chop Rap. It is a classic, more than 3,000,000 views. Yes I have drank the Kool-aid and I am not referring in any way to an agility handling system.
And Vince is right, your gonna love his nuts! I tried slapping almonds the moment I got in the door and it is freaking amazing! So stop having a boring life and start slapping your troubles away.
Because I couldn’t complete my order on-line or over the phone, sadly I didn’t get my second Slap Chop for free nor did I or pay the low, low price of $19.95 or get my free companion product “the Graty” (I am certain the effects of that loss will be minimal being that I am a vegan:)).
However I am a still a happy girl. The only way it could be any better would be if we were in the new house so I could be slapping in my new kitchen. But then again that just gives me more reason to celebrate in the future, I am sure you all can’t wait:).
Today I am grateful for the obvious, my Slap Chop. I have been tempted by Vince’s Sham Wow in the past, but resisted. However today I am thrilled to be part of the SC revolution!
No related posts.
Andrea says:
Tuesday, October 6, 2009 at 9:31am
The picture of the dogs with the slap chop (and the caption) is hilarious and totally made me crack up. Thanks for the smile!
Barb Deg says:
Tuesday, October 6, 2009 at 9:32am
To make this post dog related – the Slap Chop is great for chopping up training treats fast!
Melissa Blazak says:
Tuesday, October 6, 2009 at 9:37am
Hilarious post! Love the commercial……..you are just too funny! But I am still not training in my KitchenAid for a Slap Chop!
Taryn says:
Tuesday, October 6, 2009 at 9:50am
Hi Susan!
I am not sure even winning an Agility Championship would make you as happy as you sound over your Slap Chop! It must be one heck of a product. The company owes you for the celebrity endorsement!
Lynne says:
Tuesday, October 6, 2009 at 10:20am
Holy moly, Vince has some kind of marketing skills!
Jodi Altman says:
Tuesday, October 6, 2009 at 11:06am
Did you get me one?
Trish says:
Tuesday, October 6, 2009 at 11:12am
hahaha pretty funny – I’m not much for kitchen work myself, but glad you are happy
Judith Batchelor says:
Tuesday, October 6, 2009 at 11:26am
It is the small things in life that make us happy– for this you were overjoyed! Really funny—- the picture of you walking through the door was priceless.
Melissa Myers says:
Tuesday, October 6, 2009 at 12:15pm
Susan,
You NEED the Sham Wows for your new pool room! Dries the dogs in 2 seconds.
Sham Wows RULE!
Melissa & Treo
Trudie says:
Tuesday, October 6, 2009 at 1:29pm
Just from looking at the photo I THOUGHT it would be a new invention for dogs, like the dog slaps the top as a target…
The more you slap the better you feel so slap and chop for every meal…
Heather Sather says:
Tuesday, October 6, 2009 at 1:43pm
Fun video! I’ve wondered about something like that for chopping up Natural Balance or hot dogs for training.
Shona says:
Tuesday, October 6, 2009 at 2:52pm
I can now see why you were such an amazing sales person! I just bought myself 2 SC’s! What will I do with 2?!?! lol
Andrea says:
Tuesday, October 6, 2009 at 5:54pm
OMG!
That was the funniest veggie chopper video I’ve ever seen… I’m fully enrolled! I want a SC too!
I had the rip-off version of this probably 10 years ago and I loved it. Thanks for the great belly laugh!
Claire Duder says:
Tuesday, October 6, 2009 at 6:33pm
I’m so glad to know that you are finally “slap happy”!
Laurie S. Coger, DVM,CVP says:
Tuesday, October 6, 2009 at 8:06pm
Wonder if you could use the Graty to make make strands of meat to dehydrate for training treats. Or sweet potatoes?
Ann Hopp says:
Tuesday, October 6, 2009 at 8:43pm
Looks wonderful, but amazingly like the chopper from IKEA (which I would not be without, I even have a spare that is in it original wrap).
how to train a dog says:
Tuesday, October 6, 2009 at 8:48pm
The things you come up with are amazing and that is why I have you bookmarked!! Love the style of writing and please keep them coming.
Claudia says:
Tuesday, October 6, 2009 at 9:59pm
Hahahaaaa. Happy Children’s day! You sound like a little gal with a brand new toy!!!
Kelly says:
Tuesday, October 6, 2009 at 10:40pm
Okay, seriously? It actually works just the way Vince said it would? ‘Cause I bought a Magic Bullet, and I gotta say I wasn’t as impressed as I’d hoped. The H2O mop, though? Now THAT is a winner. If the Slap Chop can actually chop like that, think of it — tearless onion chopping! What a world!!!
I’m glad ol’ SC enjoys football . . . that’s a definite plus!
Tori Self says:
Tuesday, October 6, 2009 at 10:43pm
LOL. Such fun to read!
Michelle says:
Wednesday, October 7, 2009 at 12:16pm
Hey Kelly where did you get the H20 mop, I have wanted one of those, looks great, glad to hear its as good as they claim. My magic bullet sits in my cupboard!!
Cat says:
Wednesday, October 7, 2009 at 12:20pm
This is the BEST BLOG POST EVER. I laughed so hard! I am a huge Vince fan.
Susan, PLEASE tell me you have seen the ShamWow parody, ‘Paper Towels’. It never ceases to make me LOL.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HYkjLUMx19I&feature=related
MicheleA says:
Wednesday, October 7, 2009 at 12:44pm
I can’t stop laughing at your excitement over the SC….you better hope that the men in white jackets don’t find your place and take you away for a little “vacation” LOL
Ami says:
Wednesday, October 7, 2009 at 1:36pm
Ooooh! I love my Sham-Wows and magic Bullet….so this thing must be heaven on earth! Slap away! Simple pleasures!
)
Sandra Sepcaru says:
Wednesday, October 7, 2009 at 2:42pm
Oh Susan, I am soooo…. thrilled for you. I am trying to hold back my tears (of laughter). Your passion for small home appliances is inspiring. I will admit that while at grad skills camp, I secretly wished that I could be the one to present you with your own very first slap chop. But, alas, that was not to be. Your perseverence and hard work paid off. Now your life is complete!!! May you and your lovely acquisition live happily ever after.
Enjoy!
Sandra
Christine says:
Wednesday, October 7, 2009 at 4:30pm
Well you definately had us all wondering! I don’t have a SC but have something by Pampered Chef that comes apart the same way the SC does for cleaning and love mine too!
Carol says:
Wednesday, October 7, 2009 at 6:37pm
Susan – you could make a fortune in sales. Your promo on the SC is a show stopper. Tomorrow my search is on for a SC and the free “Graty”.
Bon appetit.
Kelly says:
Thursday, October 8, 2009 at 8:01am
H20 Mop at the “As Seen On TV” store. Love it! But now I’m itching for a Slap Chop AND a Sham Wow . . . .
Tracy says:
Thursday, October 8, 2009 at 8:52am
Susan, I was sad to see that you hadn’t started crate games with it yet. But looks like you do play Smack Da Baby with it (Slap Da Baby?) so it least it will be as motivated to work as you are.
we are all, truly & officially, NUTS!
Now I wanna get a Slap Chop.
Bobbie Bhambree says:
Thursday, October 8, 2009 at 10:49am
Now you can definitely give people a “Slap Chop” upside the head! I have a new found admiration for Vince! If he’s selling, I’m buying!
JoAnna says:
Thursday, October 8, 2009 at 4:28pm
Will you be selling the Slap Chop in the Say Yes camp store?
Beth says:
Tuesday, October 13, 2009 at 12:38am
I love my “Slap Chop”! Its great for everything from mincing garlic to crushing Graham crackers for a great pie crust. The Magic Bullet is your next fun cooking tool you need. You can make fruit smoothys in your hotel room or frozen margaritas if you choose……… Its the little things that make us happy.
Laurie S. Coger, DVM,CVP says:
Sunday, November 29, 2009 at 4:19pm
OK, I bought one — and am very disappointed! Everything gets stuck in the blade — garlic, onions, peppers, etc. In fact it could barely push through half an onion! Am I doing something wrong, or do I have a defective Slappy?
Please help!!!!!!