The Holy Grail Has Arrived Safely in Alberton
You may think with the title of this blog I just stumbled upon the answer to the perfectly reliable running contact, or perhaps a new line of agility
clothing that contours your butt to look three sizes smaller than real-life, or maybe I just came up with a way to stop babies from crying on airplanes. No, thats not it at all really.
For the last five months I have longed for it, dropped hints about it and made unsuccessful ownership attempts of my own; both on the internet and over-the-phone. Still I was left disappointed and once again empty handed.
Back in July, on my birthday, John tried to satiate my needs with an substandard stand-in. A mere copycat posing as the real thing and we both knew it. It was nothing more than a ruse, a bad joke. I discarded the imposture within hours of making its acquaintance. I could appreciate John’s efforts in trying to make me happy on my birthday, but sadly it only served to fan the flames of yearning as my desire for authenticity became all that more intense.
But Monday was the day. Perhaps Saturday’s rainbows were just trumpeted foreshadowing leading to yesterday’s historical event. Yes, my quest came to a end at 10:03 yesterday morning. Armed with critical retail reconnaissance from the ever thoughtful Clare Duder, I arrived at the mall five minutes before it was open for business. Like a junkie
jonesing for a fix, I stood impatiently dancing at the door as the clerk unlocked the security games. Then I entered, immediately locating and purchasing my very own . . . (cue the celestial music and the cherubs flying overhead). . . as-seen-on-TV, Slap Chop. You read correctly, I own a Slap Chop and can barely contain my excitement.
While fighting back the tears of intense joy, I sprinted from the store with my treasured purchase in hand. Admittedly, I may have committed more than one moving traffic violation as I sped my way back to Alberton to start my slapping with visions of Vince making that perfect salsa one slap at a time.
For those that are completely in the dark, take a peak at Vince in his informercial. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rUbWjIKxrrs
Vince is a treat, he really is, but if you really want to jam you just have to watch the Slap Chop Rap. It is a classic, more than 3,000,000 views. Yes I have drank the Kool-aid and I am not referring in any way to an agility handling system.
And Vince is right, your gonna love his nuts! I tried slapping almonds the moment I got in the door and it is freaking amazing! So stop having a boring life and start slapping your troubles away.
Because I couldn’t complete my order on-line or over the phone, sadly I didn’t get my second Slap Chop for free nor did I or pay the low, low price of $19.95 or get my free companion product “the Graty” (I am certain the effects of that loss will be minimal being that I am a vegan:)).
However I am a still a happy girl. The only way it could be any better would be if we were in the new house so I could be slapping in my new kitchen. But then again that just gives me more reason to celebrate in the future, I am sure you all can’t wait:).
Today I am grateful for the obvious, my Slap Chop. I have been tempted by Vince’s Sham Wow in the past, but resisted. However today I am thrilled to be part of the SC revolution!