The Holy Grail Has Arrived Safely in Alberton

Posted on 10/06/09 33 Comments

 You may think with the title of this blog I just stumbled upon the answer to the perfectly reliable running contact, or perhaps a new line of  agility

Arriving home, John who thinks I should be committed, reluctantly plays along and takes my photo.
Arriving home, John who thinks I should be committed, reluctantly plays along and takes my photo.

 clothing that contours your butt to look three sizes smaller than real-life, or maybe I just came up with a way to stop babies from crying on airplanes.   No, thats not it at all really.

For the last five months I have longed for it, dropped hints about it and made unsuccessful ownership attempts of my own; both on the internet and over-the-phone. Still I was left disappointed and once again empty handed.

Back in July, on my birthday, John tried to satiate my needs with an substandard stand-in. A mere copycat posing as the real thing and we both knew it. It was nothing more than a ruse, a bad joke. I discarded the imposture within hours of making its acquaintance.  I could appreciate John’s efforts in trying to make me happy on my birthday, but sadly it only served to fan the flames of yearning as my desire for authenticity became all that more intense.

But Monday was the day. Perhaps Saturday’s rainbows were just trumpeted foreshadowing leading to yesterday’s historical event. Yes, my quest came to a end at 10:03 yesterday morning. Armed with critical retail reconnaissance from the ever thoughtful Clare Duder, I arrived at the mall five minutes before it was open for business.  Like a junkie

The Slap chop in our little apartment.
The Slap chop in our little apartment.

jonesing for a fix, I stood impatiently dancing at the door as the clerk unlocked the security games. Then I entered, immediately locating and purchasing my very own . . . (cue the celestial music and the cherubs flying overhead). . . as-seen-on-TV, Slap Chop. You read correctly, I own a Slap Chop and can barely contain my excitement.

While fighting back the tears of intense joy, I sprinted from the store with my treasured purchase in hand. Admittedly, I may have committed more than one moving traffic violation as I sped my way back to Alberton to start my slapping with visions of Vince making that perfect salsa one slap at a time.

For those that are completely in the dark, take a peak at Vince in his informercial. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rUbWjIKxrrs

Vince is a treat, he really is, but if you really want to jam you just have to watch the Slap Chop Rap.  It is a classic, more than 3,000,000 views. Yes I have drank the Kool-aid and I am not referring in any way to an agility handling system.

 

 

Despite being a black and white, the SC seems to have been accepted by the pack.
Despite being a black and white, the SC seems to have been accepted by the pack.

And Vince is right, your gonna love his nuts! I tried slapping almonds the moment I got in the door and it is freaking amazing!  So stop having a boring life and start slapping your troubles away. 

Because I couldn’t complete my order on-line or over the phone, sadly I didn’t get my second Slap Chop for free nor did I or pay the low, low price of $19.95 or get my free companion product “the Graty” (I am certain the effects of that  loss will be minimal being that I am a vegan:)).

However I am a still a happy girl. The only way it could be any better would be if we were in the new house so I could be slapping in my new kitchen.  But then again that just gives me more reason to celebrate in the future, I am sure you all can’t wait:).

The SC watching Monday Night Football, Feature being unimpressed in the background.
The SC watching Monday Night Football, Feature being unimpressed in the background.

 

 

Today I am grateful for the obvious, my Slap Chop. I have been tempted by Vince’s Sham Wow in the past, but resisted. However today I am thrilled to be part of the SC revolution!

 



33 Comments

  1. Laurie S. Coger, DVM,CVP says:
    Sunday, November 29, 2009 at 4:19pm

    OK, I bought one — and am very disappointed! Everything gets stuck in the blade — garlic, onions, peppers, etc. In fact it could barely push through half an onion! Am I doing something wrong, or do I have a defective Slappy?

    Please help!!!!!!

    Reply

  2. Beth says:
    Tuesday, October 13, 2009 at 12:38am

    I love my “Slap Chop”! Its great for everything from mincing garlic to crushing Graham crackers for a great pie crust. The Magic Bullet is your next fun cooking tool you need. You can make fruit smoothys in your hotel room or frozen margaritas if you choose……… Its the little things that make us happy. 🙂

    Reply

  3. JoAnna says:
    Thursday, October 8, 2009 at 4:28pm

    Will you be selling the Slap Chop in the Say Yes camp store? 🙂

    Reply

  4. Bobbie Bhambree says:
    Thursday, October 8, 2009 at 10:49am

    Now you can definitely give people a “Slap Chop” upside the head! I have a new found admiration for Vince! If he’s selling, I’m buying!

    Reply

  5. Tracy says:
    Thursday, October 8, 2009 at 8:52am

    Susan, I was sad to see that you hadn’t started crate games with it yet. But looks like you do play Smack Da Baby with it (Slap Da Baby?) so it least it will be as motivated to work as you are.

    we are all, truly & officially, NUTS!

    Now I wanna get a Slap Chop.

    Reply

  6. Kelly says:
    Thursday, October 8, 2009 at 8:01am

    H20 Mop at the “As Seen On TV” store. Love it! But now I’m itching for a Slap Chop AND a Sham Wow . . . .

    Reply

  7. Carol says:
    Wednesday, October 7, 2009 at 6:37pm

    Susan – you could make a fortune in sales. Your promo on the SC is a show stopper. Tomorrow my search is on for a SC and the free “Graty”.
    Bon appetit.

    Reply

  8. Christine says:
    Wednesday, October 7, 2009 at 4:30pm

    Well you definately had us all wondering! I don’t have a SC but have something by Pampered Chef that comes apart the same way the SC does for cleaning and love mine too!

    Reply

  9. Sandra Sepcaru says:
    Wednesday, October 7, 2009 at 2:42pm

    Oh Susan, I am soooo…. thrilled for you. I am trying to hold back my tears (of laughter). Your passion for small home appliances is inspiring. I will admit that while at grad skills camp, I secretly wished that I could be the one to present you with your own very first slap chop. But, alas, that was not to be. Your perseverence and hard work paid off. Now your life is complete!!! May you and your lovely acquisition live happily ever after.

    Enjoy!
    Sandra

    Reply

  10. Ami says:
    Wednesday, October 7, 2009 at 1:36pm

    Ooooh! I love my Sham-Wows and magic Bullet….so this thing must be heaven on earth! Slap away! Simple pleasures! :o)

    Reply

  11. MicheleA says:
    Wednesday, October 7, 2009 at 12:44pm

    I can’t stop laughing at your excitement over the SC….you better hope that the men in white jackets don’t find your place and take you away for a little “vacation” LOL

    Reply

  12. Cat says:
    Wednesday, October 7, 2009 at 12:20pm

    This is the BEST BLOG POST EVER. I laughed so hard! I am a huge Vince fan.

    Susan, PLEASE tell me you have seen the ShamWow parody, ‘Paper Towels’. It never ceases to make me LOL.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HYkjLUMx19I&feature=related

    Reply

  13. Michelle says:
    Wednesday, October 7, 2009 at 12:16pm

    Hey Kelly where did you get the H20 mop, I have wanted one of those, looks great, glad to hear its as good as they claim. My magic bullet sits in my cupboard!!

    Reply

  14. Tori Self says:
    Tuesday, October 6, 2009 at 10:43pm

    LOL. Such fun to read! 🙂

    Reply

  15. Kelly says:
    Tuesday, October 6, 2009 at 10:40pm

    Okay, seriously? It actually works just the way Vince said it would? ‘Cause I bought a Magic Bullet, and I gotta say I wasn’t as impressed as I’d hoped. The H2O mop, though? Now THAT is a winner. If the Slap Chop can actually chop like that, think of it — tearless onion chopping! What a world!!!

    I’m glad ol’ SC enjoys football . . . that’s a definite plus!

    Reply

  16. Claudia says:
    Tuesday, October 6, 2009 at 9:59pm

    Hahahaaaa. Happy Children’s day! You sound like a little gal with a brand new toy!!! 🙂

    Reply

  17. how to train a dog says:
    Tuesday, October 6, 2009 at 8:48pm

    The things you come up with are amazing and that is why I have you bookmarked!! Love the style of writing and please keep them coming.

    Reply

  18. Ann Hopp says:
    Tuesday, October 6, 2009 at 8:43pm

    Looks wonderful, but amazingly like the chopper from IKEA (which I would not be without, I even have a spare that is in it original wrap).

    Reply

  19. Laurie S. Coger, DVM,CVP says:
    Tuesday, October 6, 2009 at 8:06pm

    Wonder if you could use the Graty to make make strands of meat to dehydrate for training treats. Or sweet potatoes?

    Reply

  20. Claire Duder says:
    Tuesday, October 6, 2009 at 6:33pm

    I’m so glad to know that you are finally “slap happy”!

    Reply

  21. Andrea says:
    Tuesday, October 6, 2009 at 5:54pm

    OMG!

    That was the funniest veggie chopper video I’ve ever seen… I’m fully enrolled! I want a SC too!

    I had the rip-off version of this probably 10 years ago and I loved it. Thanks for the great belly laugh! 🙂

    Reply

  22. Shona says:
    Tuesday, October 6, 2009 at 2:52pm

    I can now see why you were such an amazing sales person! I just bought myself 2 SC’s! What will I do with 2?!?! lol

    Reply

  23. Heather Sather says:
    Tuesday, October 6, 2009 at 1:43pm

    Fun video! I’ve wondered about something like that for chopping up Natural Balance or hot dogs for training.

    Reply

  24. Trudie says:
    Tuesday, October 6, 2009 at 1:29pm

    Just from looking at the photo I THOUGHT it would be a new invention for dogs, like the dog slaps the top as a target…

    The more you slap the better you feel so slap and chop for every meal…

    Reply

  25. Melissa Myers says:
    Tuesday, October 6, 2009 at 12:15pm

    Susan,
    You NEED the Sham Wows for your new pool room! Dries the dogs in 2 seconds.

    Sham Wows RULE!

    Melissa & Treo

    Reply

  26. Judith Batchelor says:
    Tuesday, October 6, 2009 at 11:26am

    It is the small things in life that make us happy– for this you were overjoyed! Really funny—- the picture of you walking through the door was priceless.

    Reply

  27. Trish says:
    Tuesday, October 6, 2009 at 11:12am

    hahaha pretty funny – I’m not much for kitchen work myself, but glad you are happy 🙂

    Reply

  28. Jodi Altman says:
    Tuesday, October 6, 2009 at 11:06am

    Did you get me one?

    Reply

  29. Lynne says:
    Tuesday, October 6, 2009 at 10:20am

    Holy moly, Vince has some kind of marketing skills!

    Reply

  30. Taryn says:
    Tuesday, October 6, 2009 at 9:50am

    Hi Susan!
    I am not sure even winning an Agility Championship would make you as happy as you sound over your Slap Chop! It must be one heck of a product. The company owes you for the celebrity endorsement!

    Reply

  31. Melissa Blazak says:
    Tuesday, October 6, 2009 at 9:37am

    Hilarious post! Love the commercial……..you are just too funny! But I am still not training in my KitchenAid for a Slap Chop!

    Reply

  32. Barb Deg says:
    Tuesday, October 6, 2009 at 9:32am

    To make this post dog related – the Slap Chop is great for chopping up training treats fast! 🙂

    Reply

  33. Andrea says:
    Tuesday, October 6, 2009 at 9:31am

    The picture of the dogs with the slap chop (and the caption) is hilarious and totally made me crack up. Thanks for the smile!

    Reply

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